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This always seemed terribly wrong to me. There are some gems like admission to peep stone in a hat translation to the book of Mormon and angels with swords commanding polygamy, but if someone believes Joseph Smith really did stuff his face into a hat and translate scriptures about ancient jews coming to America, it means they are insane, and you can't reason with an insane person. Take a breath, stop and think, is it worth destroying so many lives so you can step in and take the rewards after someone else does the hard work. My husband is a surgical oncologist. However, my situation is very different. Life will chuck all sorts of bouncers at you. I am afraid of what these years ahead could mean to our family; make it or break it.
Listen, you are in a bad situation and it just has not come to a head yet. The struggle is real. I say, Follow your heart. She is a returned missionary, and won't Marry you if you want to stay atheist. Make sure she knows the plan, so you both can dress appropriately. I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue the relationship, but I'd only recommend marrying her if she leaves the church because she discovers it's not true. I follow a blogger who is a nurse and her stories are gut-wrenching. Or does this sound more like a conscious choice he's making not to get invested in this. It's in the Mormon DNA.